Guest Post: Comfort in an Uncomfortable Place

“saying, “Father, if you are willing, remove this cup from me. Nevertheless, not my will, but yours, be done.” 

Luke 22:42

I had always heard this verse and was taught by my dad about praying this but what does it really mean? I went and read the chapter, praying God would give me an understanding of what this verse truly means and how can it be applied to my life. 

If you haven’t read it here is my quick summary: Jesus just had the last supper with his disciples and is telling them what is to come. He knows the betrayal is happening, He knows the soldiers are coming and He knows He is about to do something His flesh will hate him for. He kneels down and prays “Father, if you are willing, remove this cup from me. Nevertheless, not my will, but yours, be done.” He prays this so earnestly that His sweat was like blood drops!

When I was young my dad taught me to pray “not thine will but yours”. He also taught me this was a very serious thing to pray and to really mean it, not just let it be ‘fill in’ words! I prayed this often growing up and God has always amazed me with how His ways truly are higher than our ways!! As my life has changed, I have walked the different paths and curves of my journey. I had found myself just living life, going through the motions and I was guilty of having the joy, the love, the truth hidden in my heart, hidden deep in my heart. I became convicted! 

I wondered is this God’s will? What am I doing? What am I called to do? 

What does God want and need me to do?

I dedicated this year to making time to read the Bible, to praying each morning on my drive to work, praying, worshiping and singing while I stay late at work cleaning, searching out God’s will for my life. As I did this something strange happened, something I didn't expect. I became uncomfortable! I didn't find that light, that huge blinking sign that said “THIS WAY”. I didn't hear a booming voice saying what to do. Instead I became agitated, uncomfortable and….intrigued with what was happening. 

I could have given up, said I was better off not trying to seek out God’s will, I was comfortable living my day to day life, at least I knew what was happening (in my mind, my plan, my will). But I decided to press on, see what God was trying to teach me. You see, God doesn't give us battles, situations, strange paths just to make things interesting. We go through things to learn, to be molded, and to change. He is the potter and we are the clay, sometimes we have to go through fire to work out imperfections. Is it fun? NO! Can it be confusing and lonely? YES!

“Yet you, LORD, are our Father. We are the clay, you are the potter; we are all the work of your hand.” Isaiah 64:8

Remember, God's ways are higher. He knew the plan for you before you were born. He knows you, your thoughts, sees your tears, your frustrations. God knows YOU!

“For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.” Isaiah 55:9

God’s will isn't always a calling to luxury and comfort, it isn't always what you imagined in your mind. But God’s will is the best life we can live! We will never be alone, we will never be blind on our journey, and we will never be lost or forsaken. 

As much as I write this to you, it is also written to me. I journey the uncomfortable road as God molds me and I have found peace in knowing He isn't finished with me, He has a plan and that plan is better than any daydream I can have!

“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.” Jeremiah 29:11

Hello Fellow Readers!

My name is Aleisha. I am a 20 something old, a wife to my best friend, a mom of the cutest little man, a lover of music, piano and singing whatever comes to mind, a youth pastor’s (my husband) side kick, a receptionist and a dedicated reader of Refining the Wild Grapes.

You can find Aleisha on Instagram or Facebook.

When Prayer becomes Consuming

Luke 18:9-14 NLT

"Then Jesus told this story to some who had great confidence in their own righteousness and scorned everyone else: 'Two men went to the Temple to pray. One was a Pharisee, and the other was a despised tax collector. The Pharisee stood by himself and prayed this prayer: 'I thank you , God, that I am not a sinner like everyone else. For I don't cheat, I don't sin, and I don't commit adultery. I'm certainly not like that tax collector! I fast twice a week, and I give you a tenth of my income.' But the tax collector stood at a distance and dared not even lift his eyes to heaven as he prayed. Instead, he beat his chest in sorrow, saying, 'O God, be merciful to me, for I am a sinner.' I tell you, this sinner, not the Pharisee, returned home justified before God. For those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted.'"

The parable that Jesus shares of the Pharisee and the Publican (tax collector) shows us prayer in two forms. Here there is a profound contrast between each of them. The Pharisee comes to the Temple and stands by himself, thanking God that he's not a sinner like everyone else. He explains, and even boasts, to God how faithful he has been in fasting and giving tithes. 

Haven't we all had those moments where we feel like we're doing enough and now we think it's God's turn to bless us? 

This is where prayer must consume every part of us.

Now the tax collector, despised and unworthy, enters the Temple, stands away from the Pharisee, and would not so much as lift up his eyes toward Heaven. When I read the second half of verse 13 tears began to roll down my cheeks. This is a reminder (for me) of how I fail God daily and yet He is still constant with His open arms of love and His mercy that He showers over me. With the tax collector beating his chest, verse 13 says, "O God, be merciful to me, for I am a sinner." I can depict this image in my mind of the Pharisee, standing by himself, calmly having a chat with God over his own greatness. But when I see this tax collector, it's almost night and day. I can see him crying out to God with a heart that is far from contentment exclaiming, "GOD! HAVE MERCY ON ME! I'M A SINNER... BUT GOD HAVE MERCY ON ME!" 

That type of urgency and hunger for God should be our desire! 

How many times have we become so humbled before the throne of Almighty God that we just weep in the beauty of His presence? Crying, thirsting, pleading for forgiveness?

Our prayers need to be more than just skin deep and not just about ourselves like the Pharisee in the parable. When our flesh doesn't feel like praying, pray more! God is aware of our weaknesses and when we have a daily relationship with Him and His Spirit lives in us, we have a lifeline for those moments where we feel we can't utter another word. Romans 8:26-27 says, "the Spirit itself makes intercessions for us with groanings that cannot be uttered." Isn't it uplifting to know that when you feel bound by addiction, or that best friend did you wrong, or you experience a loss, or you just simply feel defeated, God says "I will fight for you" {Exodus 14:14}. Let that be encouragement to you on your journey.

God, let my prayer be that I never water the seed to complacency or get to the point where I feel that I am doing enough for Your Kingdom. Give me a servant's heart and a humble spirit for I am a sinner and I am unworthy. I never want to place my confidence in earthly things but on things above.

Let this be the point where you stop and do some personal searching of the heart. Seek to be like the Publican in prayer, consuming prayer, and know that you are a sinner saved by grace. Grow deeper in your walk with God so when you don't know what to pray, His Spirit living inside of you can fill the gaps. Allow yourself to become vulnerable and humbled in the presence of God and see what He has in store for you!