When Love Kills

One of the most beautiful gifts that God has given us is the gift of relationships with friends, parents, boyfriends/girlfriends, spouses...etc. We all have dreamed of the day we would meet “the one” and we expect that relationship to be nothing short of love and happiness but, in reality, that expectation can deaden the relationship. No thing, no person can ever fulfill all of your expectations. No matter how wonderful your friendship/relationship is, you will still struggle. We are all human.  Sometimes we’re too tired to love after a hard day at work, sometimes we’re too grumpy to hold a normal conversation, sometimes we give and give all day that when we come home to our families we lash out. That “missing piece” that holds us all together can only come from our relationship with Jesus that overflows into that relationship and makes it satisfying.

When I first got married I had so many expectations, not intentionally but I still had them, and I learned the hard way my husband couldn’t fulfill my every desire. We were both coming together from two different worlds; I grew up in the “ideal” family with two loving parents where divorce was never even a thought. On the other hand, my husband came from a place where his mother had left them as young kids to seek her own desires of drugs and sin, they grew up with a hard-working single dad and grandparents who kept them on a church pew every Sunday. Talk about two different worlds coming together. We both learned, with a ton of heartache, that only Jesus could complete us.

If I'm being honest, some days it's too easy for me to be mean or to get angry about something I feel like he should have remembered. Some days I choose to be frustrated the rest of the night about something that happened at work. What's that saying they always tell you about work and home? "Leave your personal life at home and don't bring it to work with you." The same can be said when you come home, leave all your work frustrations at work. I feel like we forget about that. It's easy to leave your frustrations at home when you go to work because you have people to "please" yet, when we go home, Oh it's just our family. It doesn't matter. But it does matter. 

Having a healthy and fulfilling relationship stems first with our relationship with our Savior. It is in Him that we discover who he is, who we are and our purpose. Once we are complete in Him it begins to overflow into all of our relationships in our lives. If we do not make Jesus “enough”, if He does not become our everything then that dissatisfaction and discontentment begins to seep into other areas of our life. I'm sure you're tired of hearing this but it all starts at the mirror. That person staring back at you is the only one who gets to decide what you will do with your love, your words, your time. Will your love be authentic or fleeting? Will your words be fruitful or deadening? How will you create a healthier relationship?

Ephesians 5:1-2 ESV

Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children, and walking in love, as Christ loved us...

I'm still learning every day. I'm still trying to heed Paul's advice to die daily (1 Corinthians 15:31). I'm still working on being a better friend, a better wife, a better daughter. Truth is, it's all about remembering that He is more than enough for us. When we allow Him to see our broken pieces, every flaw, every scar, He begins to heal, He begins to piece us back together. That is the key to maintaining healthy relationships, it begins by loving God, loving yourself and letting the overflow run into your surroundings. 

If you're just joining us, we're so glad you're here. We are in week 3 of the 4 part series, Beautiful You.  You can click here to read last week's post and be sure to join us next week as we end our series!